Diana Tay

I LOVE YOU ,NO MORE

2009-10-07T01:40:00.000+08:00

you say move on but where do i go??

-Diana is bored now. Entertain me:(

I said ~~i love you~~

Emptiness

2009-10-07T01:32:00.000+08:00

你是无形的伤口。

Argh.
Sometimes i feel like slapping myself.
Right inside my heart, i told myself that if one day his girlfriend broke up with him and so coincidentally, i happen to saw him and have a chat. how good will it be?
Will he still come back to me after he broke up with her?

I HAVE THE LOWEST EQ IN THIS WORLD.
I know he don't even care for my feelings when he got a new girl but yet im thinking of being back with him.
I SUCK!
but but, i seriously hope he won't come back to me or contact me even after break up.
I know he is definately not the one im looking for, if i say i want to be back. maybe because i have too much memories of I and him.

Just now webcam with Eugene. 1992.HAHA.
A small boy that is kinda cute.

I need love. its not desperate
But i am just someone that need someone to be always there for me.

I think a boyfriend must be someone that makes u feel proud of.
The right one, can you please hurry appear.
Love is never to ask for, but i don't trust fate and destiny at all.

and shit!!! i print screen but then i copy other link then i couldnt save the pictures of webcamming.

KRIS ALLEN ROCKS!

暗恋- David Tao

2009-10-04T03:08:00.002+08:00

This song by david tao is AWESOME!

Whats the feelings of carrying a torch for someone but yet you keep it to yourself?
I think i like this guy, i think so.

* He is so quiet and kinda shy, i think?
I know him through one of my friend, in another way, i just add him on facebook!

Hmm, i add him because i think he look kinda good? Haha.humans are blinded by visual look.
He is quite a nice guy but i am always the one that talks alot.
I just see him 4 times and i am hoping for more. though both i and him seem to come from differen world and i know im not his type.
Yea, i look his look. but i know he is not the kind of guy i really want. i want those that will make cute faces to me, but i suppose he wont.

i really know nothing about him.
but that day i told him to come out cos i intend to tell him how i feel. but he said he isnt free.
I think more or less he knew the reason for me wanting to see him, that was an avoidance, i think?

I love to see him online. but the number of times we chatted is less than 15 times?
and even when i start the conver, he always reply in one or few words.
so i asked him personality questions, thinking at least i can know him better?
But he asked why do i like to ask this type of questions.
HAHAS.that was pretty awkward. but that idiot will definately not know that actually im finding a chance and topic to talk to him.
I think he is too wild for me too?
He likes to club, i think?
And which girls like their boyfriend to do so? so yea, this can be kinda good reason for me to stop thinking.

- As long as i still like him, i wil find a chance to confess.
I will never hide my feelings.
Life is too short for regrets.

:)

2009-07-19T02:47:00.002+08:00

It was around midnight that my brother's girlfriend called me.
after talking to her, she told me that my brother's friend told him that i seems to be troubled because i wrote many posts in facebook about the failed relationship.
After hanging up the call, i cried. i feel so bad for causing my brother to worried,
however, after crying, i no longer feel sad about that guy anymore. i can finally walk off from the nightmare.

Kor. thanks for being such a wonderful brother.
I find it hard to tell you this personally, cause i find it really mushy.
but really, i thanks god for letting me having such a caring brother like you.
I really do not feel sad anymore,
your sister, can na de qi, fang de xia. after this, i really realised that family is so important.
As well as friends, those who concern and encourage me, i will also remember it.
Also, thanks alot to the pretty girl , my brother's girlfriend, Natalie.
And thanks lynn, i think if not for you, i wouldnt have walk through the 'sadness' part of my life so quickly.

Also, thanks Vanessa~ hahas(:
thanks for being such a great friend, really.
I don't know what to say, since ure a girl, if ure a guy then it will be different luh. hahas.
but i really appreciate all the things u have done.
when i don't have the courage to speak to him, ure the one that help me and side me.
Thank you,

A Big THANK YOU to all the people that i love,
p.s: he is really cute(:
hahas

Bleeding

2009-07-16T15:48:00.002+08:00

i listen to so many love songs and everyone just reminds me of you.
do you know how hurt am i now?
i really understand that no matter how i cry now, i cant change the fact now, but do you know how tough it is?
i really miss you alot and alot.
i just to make us works.
please tell me you still love me, even if you dont, i am willing to do anything to make u change ur mind.

you know i am so foolish to think that if the girl dint appear, everything is possible.
but i cant blame or hate the girl, becfause ure the one that can so fast forget about me and find her.

to be frank, im not so noble to the extend that i will bless you, but neither will i curse ur new relationship. treat her well and everything will goes on smoothly

14/7/09

2009-07-16T15:13:00.002+08:00

I went to find him on 14/7
with hope, and feeling anxious and nervous, i waiting at the stairs.
i did not call him or sms him because i dun want him to know that im there.
seeing the slipper outside his hse, i assume that he wear sneaker to school, so i did not press the bell. while waiting, his step mum came out and then i call her, she wanted to help me to open the door, i said" will guo qiang dun like?'
she said' nevermind' and then when she was about to open the door, she told me that there is a girl inside. can u believe it?
i pretended to be strong. but while in the lift, when the stepmum asked do i still like him? i kept quiet. she said. he is not worth it. she said i could find better guy but these words just cant make me feel better.
after saying goodbye to her, i cried and i really think thats the end of like, i called vanessa. i really cant believe it, really. him having a new gf has never come to my thoughts. so when i noe the truth, i just couldnt accept. i went to find vann and started crying,and we think of many things of what to say to him afterthat.after that, we headed to his hse. we waited and waited.... then lift open! he came out with the girl. the girl look at me,but i dint not speak anything, seeing how he look at me, he must be shocked then. well, vann asked him to come out and she talk to him. i hear what they said, as im sitting at storey 9 staircvase. he is staying at level 8. he might think that i did not heard what he said. when i was hearing their conversation, i got urges to shout at him and tell him to shut his mouth, overall, he stop liking me is becos of the girl, am i right? i hate him. and foolishly, i wanted to wait for his gf to go so i can speak to him and telling him i stil love him. what am i thinking?

Really, these few days are tough for me. i fear of sleeping cos i feel empty and sad. i hate all those songs as it recalled my memories but i want to listen , so what am i thinking?

I feel that he have did wrong to me. but yesterday i thought thru, i am the one to blame to. i am the one that causes him to leave me. but he shld have noe that i still love him when i still go and fibnd him after we brk up right? and we still behave like couple after breaking up, and my heart know that i cant find other guy cos i still love him.
but yea, if he nvr tot of being tgther back, why did he bother to come and find me then?
i guess our actions just gave me the wrong idea.
but all i can is.. he is not at fault. i am the one that refuses to let go.
he alr said:' lets be friends in the past'
sorry for all those words that i said to you. i really understand u already tried to minimise the pain of hurting me, i really do.
I really want to say, ure the first guy tat i ever love, trust me.
when i said i will die for u in the past, i really meant it. its not just words.

'No one will love you as much as i used to'
'No one will cook porridge for you, when ure sick as i used to'
'No one will purposely buy u food and walk to ur house to pass it to you'
'No one will quarrelled with her mum just because i hate it when my mum said ure short'
'No one will ever catch the last bus to find you'
'No one will walk the streets in the middle of the night just to go and find you'
'No one will don't mind the height difference between us'
'No one have ever touched me, until you.'
'No one will let me feel loved, until you.'
'No one will knew me ,until you'

I cant say that i will wait for you till the end. because i cant promise so confidently that i will never fall in love with someone else while waiitng. im not hoping that u will break up with ur new gf, but i really want u to know, im preparing for myself for any future possible outcomes.
i really think that its hard for us to be together and i realy enjoy ur accompany all this long, it has never change, i really dun want u to be just a passerby in my life, i really want to be with you till the end of like,you really let me have the urge to love u, no one else let me feel that up to now.

You're really a great guy.
bear with my nonsense and unreasonable personality.
I really hope fate can bring us together back in the future.
I really cant let you go.
I know there is nth like,cant live without someone, but i know life without you, will be miserable.

when i think of nagging at you, seeing ur adorable face, buying u food and listening to ur terrible singing and having to sleep besides you, and going to find you whenever im free as possible is no longer my job or my responsibilites now, i feel so....

i really know its my fault for causing the brk up.
but to be fair, its aint all my fault too.
i started to go out with guys is after we broke up, i believe when i told you that, and u giving me the reaction, is because u cant accept right? maybe this word' break up' often come out from my word, so u think im not serious abut that, so u think i betrayed u and so u give up on us.

But i really want you to trust me, i really never like other guy after breaking up with you.
i went to find you that day, is because i wanted to give u a surprise, but then, i was shocked to find out that u got a new gf.

do u know how foolish am i?
when i sms you, i was hoping you wil reply and then tell me to be back agin.
i was so naive.
and yesterday, i actually went to ur hse bus stop hoping to see you.
today, same thing, i started to take bus to school from ur hse there.because i was hoping to see you. i know u wouldnt want to see me, but i really miss you.

Since, everythig about us has ended.
i got nothing to say anymore.
but all those memories is still storage in my memory. i will never want to forget, i just hope it will slowly fade so i cant rem all details and less pain on me.
I hope to see you in the future with a new one.
I really hope to be with you in the future.
I really love you truthfully, ure more impt than myself.
Family, You is my top priority,

' i fear to sleep because i will cry and think of you, having the urge to sneak out to find you, but i know u wouldnt want to see me'

'I hope that my presence that day wun cause ur gf to quarrel with you'

Take care.

watch this:)

2009-07-07T16:24:00.000+08:00

http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wi_MEArB1ro

woosh

2009-07-02T01:16:00.002+08:00

skipped school yesterday cos i went to find johnny bravo.
and i realised i got so much works to do.
listed below

print marketing notes
zap ps notes
do ps quiz
do sociology homework. deviance. religion. essay
do acad writing.editing from peer review. according to apa format
copy pom notes.
sat got cca. SCS
next week from mon-fri must stay back for projects.
buy apel book.

roar. so many tasks.

=)

2009-06-30T04:19:00.003+08:00

its 4.19am now, jut finish writing letters for cass and vann. wohoo. tml im going to buy pocky for vann. that silly dumb. hahas. thinking of her expression when i point her middle finger is so funny la. when she is nervous today, i told her to scold vulgarities to calm herself down. such a friend am i. hahas. its so hilarious. i think my speech today sucks again haha but it does not bother me:)
i am planning what to write to john's. tsk tsk.
i am having fever:(
you say it best~ when you say nothing at all~
thats an old song. its was axis justin that asked me to find guitar chord for that, so i know this song. i planned to sing it to vann and make her deaf!!!!
wohoo. tml skipping lec. 4pm to 6pm only. so happy.
sian wed got proj:(
tsk tsk.
wohoo.i am sleeping soon. good night.

A song that i heard.

2009-06-29T01:46:00.002+08:00

wohoo. a new song that i heard called ' missing me' by Rj Helton.the lyric is quite meanigful:) A weirdo called kennedy lim intro to me. curious about how weird he is. i shall post his image here.without his permission:P

Love.

2009-06-29T01:17:00.003+08:00

i like someone damn easily but very often, it doesnt lasts. i am someone who like to rush things out, but i dont think there is anything wrong. many people took so long to think, i guess the liking is not strong enough. you might think that i may not be someone who is willing to commit, but this is wrong, i can and i once did it for a guy that i love. before him, all those relationship aint for serious, it always end up breaking up in one month or less.but the relationship with him lasted quite long. i knew him through the net and we chatted ard 2 years before we met up. he was so cute to say' when you see the shortest guy in the mrt station, and thats me!'
i was extremely nervous then . we went to search for cd. went to have our dinner together and we went to ecp. and we took bus home which is pretty far. i cried as i know that i like him but he doesnt seems to feel the same. but then, in the end, we ended up together. though it is a rush that we became couple on the day itself, we nvr quarrelled.at the most, its just bicker and we wil be fine after i pacify him or the way round. we got too much memories and its hard to forget.
for now, i know i still unable to start a new relationship because the right one hasnt come.

its midnight now.

2009-06-29T01:08:00.003+08:00

its 1.10am and i still cant sleep. tomorrow i still got to wake up early to prepare for my speech
thanks to keylie yeo, i managed to photo-copy my PS lecture notes:) she always miss me but denied it. wondering why? hahas.
i think i will slleep around 4-5am which i usually does.
roar.
my life is in a mess. because he is not with me.
i message him last night, hoping to find a topic to say, but then he dint reply as usual. Maybe i should really give up.I think maybe i no longer like him, its just that i haven gotten someone who will let me fall in love with and let me willing to forgive all the memories and pain.
i still remember all the things that happened to us and i will never want to forget.
until now, i still cried when i think of it and when u played the guitar, its just so attractive.
I'm still in love with you.
-ROACH.

ANTI-GUYS PLEASE.

2009-06-28T20:12:00.001+08:00

Guys are just jerk please. so what if they have a cock please. something that will arouse when they horny? WTF!
pussy are way better.
fuck off guys.
Guys are just sex toys. sex maniac.
lesbian rocks. singlehood rocks man!
cmon girls:)

I realised how weak a relationship can be.

2009-06-28T19:45:00.001+08:00

My friend told me yesterday that she broke up with her boyfriend, no feeling is what an excuse that the 'JERK' came up with. i don't know what to say. but at that point, i really feel like telling him to fuck off although i never seen him before. A relationship that lasted for so long can end so easily? why are there so many dumbs in this world? i,myself, is a dumb. i get hurt so many times but then i still can't stop myself from thinking him and ended up crying whenever i think of him. as for my case, thats my fault, because i commit a grave mistake that i find it hard to accept to. i hate myself.

a couple when they are together, everything seems so perfect. but why is there such drastic change when thye broke up . why? and why can't they remains as friends? why must we resort to such state.

My friend, if you see this post, cheer up. i will be there for you. i know its hurting but what you can do now, is to cry. words like forget him etc is just craps. how can u forget someone so easily. cry out and break down.
time heals ur wound.

speech presentation.

2009-06-28T19:39:00.000+08:00

WOHOO.
tomorrow having a speech presentation. i am not nervous for now? but maybe things will turn out to be worse like the previous time. :)
I finally accomplished all my work. but i still got to study for my public speaking test as i have a online quiz then . i skipped lectures and so i still got notes on Gerontology.Pom.Marketing yet to copy yet, i shall see who is the lucky one for me to lend me his/her notes.
got to print marketing notes tml. i have to help jopseph too. wohho. that DUMB. hahas:)
after these, i will be free. hopefully no more work to do. but quiz alone is a stress to me, as a small thing can bother me and will keep thinking till i lost my mind. tsk tsk.

Singlehood ROCKS.

2009-06-28T19:15:00.000+08:00

I am giving up on everything.
seriously, i hate myself for me reosorting to this state. I know it is hard to accept for what i have done. But i really willing to change. However, everything seems pointless now. you really seems so perfect to me. I really missed the days. i know you dont feel the same.

nevermind. i shall enjoy what i am now. i still have friends and family. you aint that important too, for at least these few months, i still led my life happily.

It's alright. It's okay.
(Ashley Tisdale)

I need time to think 0ver what i really want, If by the end of the day, i still cant forget you. then i would at least try to go after my so called- 'happiness'.